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Explaining Non-Monogamy and Why People Consider Open Relationships, with Ashley Madison

TORONTO — Non-monogamy is becoming more mainstream, and according to one company, 26 per cent of Americans are actually interested in giving it a shot. We sat down with Isabella Mise from Ruby Life, the parent company of married dating site Ashley Madison, to discuss non-monogamy, and why they want to declare March 12 “Non-Monogamy Day”. Then we hit the streets to see what Toronto had to say. 

“Non-monogamy is an umbrella term. So anything from polyamory to open relationships, things like swinging, ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’, and infidelity,” Mise explained. 

An open relationship can be defined as a marriage or relationship in which partners agree that they can have relationships with other people. Mise explained that she has noticed a rise in non-monogamy since the beginning of the pandemic.

“If there were any cracks in that relationship, I definitely think the pandemic sort of widened those cracks. I think people came out of that time sort of rethinking a lot of things in their life,” Mise said. 

She explained that historically, people feeling unfulfilled in relationships had two choices: try to make it work, or break up. 

“I think non-monogamy and practicing non-monogamy offers another path.”

Mise explained that it’s not always about sex. She says sometimes people are looking for other types of fulfillment, like emotional support, and recommends couples review their monogamy agreement often. 

“The interesting thing with monogamy is you sort of make this promise the day you get married. It’s an explicit promise with a lot of implicit assumptions about what it means to be monogamous.”

“People grow and change as their relationship evolves and those needs sometimes change. But you don’t renew your monogamy agreement the same way you renew your driver’s licence,” said Mise. 

How Does Toronto Feel About Non-Monogamy?

So we took the conversation to the streets to see what Toronto had to say. 

“I had always been non-monogamous when I was dating, but I’m married now,” one man said, adding that meeting his wife changed him, and he would not consider opening his marriage.

“The way I see it, relationships should be between two people,” explained another man who said that he is not interested in non-monogamy. 

“It really just depends on other people as well, because they have different views and they believe what they believe. But for me? Having just one person is enough for me,” one woman said.

“Honestly, if they were to bring it up, I would consider it,” another woman responded. 

Mise and Brandon discuss how people can bring up non-monogamy with their partners, why couples consider opening up their relationships, and why Ruby Life wants to declare March 12 Non-Monogamy Day on this episode of The Brandon Gonez Show. Let us know in the comments, would you consider a non-monogamous relationship?



2 Responses

  1. Polygamist arrangements are as old as humanity itself and yet all of a sudden it appears to be something new. Many cultures have practice it for as long as humanity has been on this Earth and continue to practice it. It’s still rather common in some parts of the Muslim world for example.

  2. This is a good start to the conversation, but the interviews suggests a sole focus on young straight couples. It’s so much more complicated than that. As a gay man, I have noticed for example a lot of married men exploring bi-sexuality outside of their marriage or relationship. I;m sure the same is true for a lot of women and same sex couples for that matter.

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