Toronto native Shan Boodram may just be one of the most famous sex experts in the world. From her popular podcast Lovers & Friends, to her successful YouTube channel, and now hosting the Roku show The Marriage Pact, she’s no stranger to our screens. She joined BG to catch up on her new show, discuss hot topics like sex and situationships, and spill the tea on other topics on this episode of The Brandon Gonez Show.
Relationships can be messy, let alone situations! And word on the street is a lot of y’all are out here feeding situationships that just are not serving you properly. Boodram shared that while she can appreciate a relationship going through its own set of issues, in her opinion situations are not it.
“When we’re so unsure of what’s going on that we don’t know how to communicate that not only to others but within ourselves I think that is some weird kind of purgatory that culturally I don’t know why we’re accepting,” she shared.
She explained it’s like not knowing your role at work, leaving you vulnerable to being taken advantage of by management who may expect more from you than you’re contractually obligated to do. When you don’t know your role in a relationship, it puts you in a similar situation.
“I think in a situationship there is always one person who is like the unclarity is not really allowing me to categorize this relationship successfully, and exist within it successfully.”
“A big part of relationships isn’t always about who you’re with, it’s who you get to be when you’re with that person. Not everyone thrives in unclarity,” she continued, adding that it can actually inhibit them.
“If anything it may make them more anxious, more avoidant sometimes, more apprehensive, less likely to enjoy themselves, and as a result less likely to be the best parts of who they are.”
Shan’s Summer of Kindness
Shan explained that focusing on finding the mistakes, catching the cheater, and scoping out the red flags and running for the hills, can all lead to what she calls an “over correction” when it comes to dating.
She shared that people are so worried about wasting time while dating that they don’t give it a chance. However, it’s never a waste of time being kind, she explained, adding that everyone can benefit from an act of kindness.
“Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, even if nothing comes from it, I benefited and you benefited from us having a kind exchange. So that’s what the Summer of Kindness is all about.”
She’s challenging everyone to be kind, but she did add that some people are misinterpreting the point of this campaign.
“Some people can interpret that as be nice to everyone, give everyone a shot. But you can still have boundaries in a kind way, you can break up in a kind way,” she explained.
And that means kicking your dating bad habits… Ghosters we are looking at you!
“I think it’s letting go of things like ghosting and the justification of ghosting. Instead like holding ourselves accountable to just having positive exchanges with people,” Boodram continued, adding that everyone is deserving of kindness.
Boodram discussed how she balances work and being a mom, the benefits of being in relationships, her red flags and green flags while spilling all of the tea on this episode of The Brandon Gonez Show.